March 25, 2010

Dear Anonymous Pirates Fan...

In the comments section of last season's National League Central Milestones piece...some joker signed on anonymously and wrote:

Let's get some analysis in this "article" next time and your Pirates description was non-existant and non-informative.


Wow...really, anonymous Pittsburgh Pirates fan?

I realize that I should've gone with the obvious...the fact that the Bucs were going to set a record for futility by being the first professional team ever (yes, EVER) with 17 consecutive losing seasons, but I didn't know about it.

Instead I responded with an equally snarky:

Anyone else find the irony with the guy posting as "anonymous" blasting me as giving a "non-existant and non-informative" description of the Bucs?

Something tells me that the person was logging on from Pittsburgh and are blind to the fact that the only "milestone" that can possibly be reached by a member of the Pirates this year is former Rookie of the Year Eric Hinske hitting the 1000 games played mark sometime in late July to early August.

I mean, what else do they have going for them...the LaRoche brothers?!? Well, they aren't exactly the DiMaggios, gang!



So to make it up to that lone anonymous Pirates fan...here are their 2010 milestones, courtesy of smitty over at Rum Bunter.

When the Bucs raise the jolly roger for the 71st time this year, John Russell will have 200 wins in his managerial career for the Bucs. It will put the Bucs skipper at number 15 on the Pirates Manager All-Time Win List.

Paul Gurner Maholm could reach 1000 innings pitched in his career with a healthy 2010. Maholm would need to pitch 204 innings. He pitched 206.1 in 2008 and 194.2 last season.

After Maholm went yard last year, Maholm needs just 474 homers to tie Willie Stargells’ All-Time HR record.

Zachary Thomas Duke reaches 500 career strikeouts when he rings up victim number 91. God please let it be Ryan Braun. Duke can also reach 1000 innings pitched in his career if he can spin it for 194.2 innings this season. Also with four base knocks this season, Duke will reach 50. Zach has five career doubles leaving him 553 shy of the all-time record which is held by Pirate great Paul Waner.

Octavio Eduardo (Diaz) Dotel needs 17 saves to reach 100 and with 60 strikeouts, Dotel will make it 1000 for his career.

Brendan ‘Born on the Fourth of July’ Donnelly needs to play in 52 games and have 57 strikeouts to reach 400 in each category.

Ryan Matthew Doumit needs 144 hits to reach 500. Fellow Pirate backstop, Manny Sanguillen was intentionally walked 92 times which ranks fifth all time. Doumit has been intentionally walked 14 times in his career, so with 79 intentional free passes Doumit jumps Manny? That’s not too far fetched. Heh, Sangy…records were made to be broken. Also, if Doumit can throw out 31 runners this year, he will reach 100 for his career.

Aki Iwamura needs just 121 hits to reach 500 in his North American MLB career.

Ryan Church is 44 hits away from the popular 500 mark.

Robert Edward Crosby needs to hit 39 homers in 2010. If he does that, not only do the Bucs finish above .500, but it gives Crosby 100 for his career.


Go Pirates?


BallHype: hype it up!

2 comments:

Collective Troll said...

Beautiful! Well done! Funny thing is Doumitt can actually get alot of IBB. There are several legit hitters batting ahead of him and will be some very weak hitters batting behind him. It could happen... Great story!

E said...

Crosby's a hell of a player: 2007 MVP and he just won that gold medal...

Oh, what...different guy?

My bad. I thought they actually had someone good on their team.