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May 10, 2011

Bryce Harper is Growing a Mustache!

Fear not, friends...there is nothing misleading about the title of this post.

That's right, for all the things the Washington Nationals top draft pick from a year ago is doing right (a .376 batting average, 1.155 OPS, 7 home runs and 24 RBI in his first year of professional baseball) can safely add "grow a mustache" to the list.

"The Mustached American community is pleased that Mr. Harper would rather look like a robust mammal with a thick upper mouth mane as opposed to his current look channeling a young Opie Cunningham," said Dr. Aaron Perlut, chairman of the American Mustache Institute

Now...if only the Dread Pirate Roberts lookalike can ditch the Ultimate Warrior-style eyeblack.

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