June 20, 2011

"Trader Jack" to Take Over the Marlins

When news broke Sunday that Florida Marlins manager Edwin Rodriguez had announced his resignation, the internets were abuzz that Jack McKeon was team owner Jeffrey Loria’s pick to take over.

Then, late Sunday night, came word that “Trader Jack” would indeed be taking over as interim manager for the fish.

Yes, you read that correctly. Jack. McKeon.

Dude isn’t a terrible choice though. He won the 2003 World Series as the Florida skipper and has a 1011-940 record over 15 years in the big leagues.

That said, the idea that the 80-year-old McKeon might be back in a Major League dugout conjured up a few different ideas for this site.

Could another popular “Ten Things” post be in the horizon?

1 – Connie Mack is the only manager to have filled out a lineup card after the age of 80. Jack McKeon will be the second.

Perhaps we could go all nostalgic and chronicle the top world events that happened during McKeon’s career?

November 22, 1963 – There aren’t many big league managers that can tell you where they were the day President John Kennedy was shot. Jack McKeon, on the other hand…had just completed a fifth place finish (a 79-79 record) with the Dallas-Fort Worth Rangers of the Pacific Coast League.

Maybe I could channel my inner Jeff Foxworthy and break out a hodge podge of “you might be an 80-year-old manager if…” jokes. Sorry, but an already busy day, a nagging cough and laziness won out and, well…oh, to Hell with it.

Here you go.

If you have false teeth older than the collective age of your middle infielders…you might be an 80-year-old manager.

If your first big league managerial job was during the Nixon administration and you were already 42…you might be an 80-year-old manager.

If you still refer fellow to octogenarian Jamie Moyer as “that little Moyer Kid” …you might be an 80-year-old manager.

If, as a general manager, you orchestrated deals that included Rollie Fingers, Ozzie Smith and Sixto Lezcano (twice) …you might be an 80-year-old manager.

If you garnered the nickname “Trader Jack” while you were a second mate on the Amistad…you might be an 80-year-old manager.

If you’re worried about your erection lasting longer than the duration of Marlins game…you might be an 80-year-old manager. You may also want to consult a physician.

And if you turned around the 2003 Marlins and led them to a World Series victory over the New York Yankees…you might just be an 80-year-old manager.

Good luck, “Trader Jack”…approximately 1400 Marlins fans are counting on you.


1 comment:

Allen McCabe said...

Pretty sure my softball game last Tuesday outdrew the Marlins season attendance.