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September 8, 2011

The Greatest Brewers Mustaches of All-Time: John Axford

Few teams celebrate facial hair like the Milwaukee Brewers.  Of can celebrate whatever you want when you're running away with the National League Central.

To honor the team's acceptance of the upper lip fur, sometime contributor Lou Olsen and his band of misfits over at Reviewing the Brew are counting down the Five Greatest Brewers Mustaches of All-Time.

Number five on the list was team mascot Bernie Brewer. Number four...Hall of Famer Robin Yount.

As the feature's resident "Stache Specialist", here was my take on number three, the team's current closer...John Axford:

Simply put, the beauty of what John Axford's upper lip producing is about as awe-inspiring as what dude is doing on the field.  Not since the days of Dan Quisenberry, Dennis Eckersley and former Brewer Rollie Fingers has there been a closer as follically formidable as Axford.

Sure, many have tried...but even more have failed.  They've either shaved everything off completely, gone with the spousal compromise (the goatee) or, even worse, chosen a lifestyle of glamorizing the excessive chin tuft.

And, yes, I'm talking specifically about the Joel Hanrahans and Ryan Franklins out there.  To me, you either go glorious (a la Axford) or go full on Brian Wilson crazy...there is no in between.  No substitutes.

But what gets lost in all of the hullabaloo of Axford's "lower nose forest" is the fact that he is, basically, carrying the torch for all the Mustached (Moustached?) Canadiens out there.  And the fact that he can put up the numbers he is with all that weight on his shoulders is rather impressive.

Recently, the American Mustache Institute’s chairman (and great friend of The Hall) Dr. Aaron Perlut spoke with the guy Axford's lower nose garden finds itself attached.

Here is that interview.

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