July 5, 2012

HOVG Heroes: Keith Hernandez


DEREK ERDMAN on KEITH HERNANDEZ

Tired of every day of your life melting into the next? Does existence feel like a really long crawling marathon of “Portlandia” episodes and homemade hummus plates?

WELL FRET NO MORE.

Start and end every day hanging your belonging on this cut-out Keith Hernandez bust and you'll likely start to see things in a much different light.

Did you know that Keith Hernandez sat out an entire year of high school baseball because of a dispute with his coach? Do you even know who that coach is? Of course you don't, because Keith Hernandez is the king! In the 1980s, he did ALL OF THE COCAINE. Cocaine isn't cool anymore, but it certainly was then! And he did all of it!

Just imagine all of the things that you can hang on this Keith Hernandez coat rack. Running shoes, keys, hats, fuzzy dice, RS-232 cables, ring pops, ETC. Start your day by taking your hat off of Keith Hernandez on your way to work. It'll be his way of telling you, "GO OUT THERE AND GIVE 'EM HELL!"


End each day by giving Keith Hernandez your keys after you stumble into the house wasted on Icehouse (Ice Brewed Below Freezing!) beer. Even though you've already driven yourself home in a death defying depression blur, it'll be like him saying, "Hey man, I got it from here. Get yourself some sleep and we'll stomp all over the world's face tomorrow!

I chose to make a Keith Hernandez coat rack because people just love the television show “Seinfeld” and it seemed like the kind of thing that people would buy.

Unfortunately, I've only sold two.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Derek Erdman is a painter, newspaper writer and telephone rapper who lives at 1651 23rd Ave in Seattle, WA. He lives in a green house (throw eggs are it!) with his wife Emily and two guinea pigs named Stella and Pig Pig Pig. Erdman likes to eat and lay in bed all day long.

You can check out more of his art and buy his stuff by clicking HERE!


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