September 4, 2012

Keith Hernandez Planning to, Gasp, Shave

Oh.  My .  God.

According to The New York Times, Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez is, well, about to do the unthinkable.

The Hernandez mustache might have a month of life left in it.

He announced the possibility of shaving it last week on a Mets broadcast. But Hernandez, 58, said Monday that he might simply show up for the Mets’ final game of the season, on Oct. 3, with nothing but bare skin between his nose and upper lip.

I'm not sure what the thought process behind all this is, but the former first basemen claims it has something to do with his iconic mustache turning gray.

"I’m not totally happy with the gray," he said. "It’s something I have to get used to. I have more people, on the female side, who tell me they prefer it gray."

In 2007, Hernadez's lip sweater was named the "Top Sports Mustache of All-Time" by the American Mustache Institute.  And as one would imagine, the AMI is not pleased with the 1979 National League MVP's decision to shave.

"Keith Hernandez removing his lower nose foliage is a crime against nature akin to the Washington Monument ceasing to be phallic or Todd Akin being sane," Executive Director Dr. Aaron Perlut said Tuesday.

Now, if you'll excuse me...I need to go off to a corner and cry.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is nothing more manly than a gray mustache. You have to be a man to grow one and you have to be manly to keep it even after it turns gray. Keeping it says, "I'm aging, I'm OK with that, and I'm confident in myself." Shaving it (or coloring it) shows a lack of self-confidence and general wussiness. Don't be a puss, Keith. Keep the stache.

Anonymous said...

Who really cares about this liar and cheater.

Anonymous said...

No play for Mr. Grey