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September 7, 2012

Keith Hernandez to be Stripped of Mustache Title?

Earlier this week, it was revealed that 1979 National League MVP (and current New York Mets broadcaster) Keith Hernandez was planning on shaving his mustache.

Well, suffice it to say, the American Mustache Institute was none too pleased.

"Keith Hernandez removing his lower nose foliage is a crime against nature akin to the Washington Monument ceasing to be phallic or Todd Akin being sane," said Executive Director Dr. Aaron Perlut on Tuesday.

Now, the AMI is considering stripping Hernandez of his 2007 title of "Greatest Sports Mustache of All-Time" if he goes forward with his plan to strip his face of its lower nose garden.

“His title will either be given to runner-up Rollie Fingers, an athlete and role model who has never turned his back on the Mustache American community, or Keith’s actions may necessitate revisiting the voting effort altogether,” Dr. Perlut said. “Regardless, we are deeply disappointed in Hernandez and feel we have to take this action.”

Your move, Hernandez.

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