Keith Hernandez Has Done the Unthinkable

Earlier this month, New York Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez made waves when he announced that he was planning on losing his signature lip sweater.

As you can imagine, word of the potential massacre was not well received among the mustached community.

"Keith Hernandez removing his lower nose foliage is a crime against nature akin to the Washington Monument ceasing to be phallic or Todd Akin being sane," American Mustache Institute Executive Director Dr. Aaron Perlut said.

Well, it happened.

And, yes, by "it"...I'm referring to Hernandez making good on his threat.  On Thursday, dude was publicly shaved in front of Citi Field to the delight of those on hand and in the name of charity.

"I want to thank all of my fans who supported my mustache over the years," Hernandez told the crowd of hundreds, "but it's time for it to take a back seat and let my upper lip some time to shine."

And while it might all be fun and games for the former National League MVP, his 2007 title of "Greatest Sports Mustache of All-Time" now hangs in the balance.

“His title will either be given to runner-up Rollie Fingers, an athlete and role model who has never turned his back on the Mustache American community, or we Keith’s actions may necessitate revisiting the voting effort altogether,” according to AMI chairman Dr. Aaron Perlut. “We are deeply disappointed in Hernandez and feel we have to take this action.”

However all this shakes out, here's hoping the Miami Marlins step in and offer the shorn 'stache a one day contract.

Keith Hernandez to be Stripped of Mustache Title?

Earlier this week, it was revealed that 1979 National League MVP (and current New York Mets broadcaster) Keith Hernandez was planning on shaving his mustache.

Well, suffice it to say, the American Mustache Institute was none too pleased.

"Keith Hernandez removing his lower nose foliage is a crime against nature akin to the Washington Monument ceasing to be phallic or Todd Akin being sane," said Executive Director Dr. Aaron Perlut on Tuesday.

Now, the AMI is considering stripping Hernandez of his 2007 title of "Greatest Sports Mustache of All-Time" if he goes forward with his plan to strip his face of its lower nose garden.

“His title will either be given to runner-up Rollie Fingers, an athlete and role model who has never turned his back on the Mustache American community, or Keith’s actions may necessitate revisiting the voting effort altogether,” Dr. Perlut said. “Regardless, we are deeply disappointed in Hernandez and feel we have to take this action.”

Your move, Hernandez.

Dr. Aaron Perlut on HOVG Heroes

DR. AARON PERLUT on HOVG HEROES

If you're even a casual viewer of ESPN's SportsCenter, you unquestionably hear the word "remarkable" needlessly thrown around far too often.

Whether it's a remarkable pitch, a remarkable jump shot, a remarkable pass, or even a remarkable C-section scar on that exotic dancer.

Indeed, remarkable just may be the most overused word or phrase used in the sports vernacular outside of "eight children by nine different wives".

But here's what is, in fact, remarkable: The decades-long reverence that the baseball-loving fans maintain for our heroes of the diamond--specially those who are willing to accept a sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle.

Just consider the Lord and Savior of The Hall of  Very Good, one Ross Grimsley and his overpowering 124 lifetime victories and 5.25 ERA. 

Or what of the late catcher Bo Diaz and his dominating .255 batting average?

Or perhaps Pete LaCock the 20th overall pick of the 1970 draft by the Chicago Cubs who went on to slug .257 over nine not-so-forgettable years?

These were men of purpose, men of vigor, men of talent, and of course -- all were truly remarkable men of mustache who paved the way for rugged good looks during an era of baseball that is too often forgotten amongst faux claims of “remarkable”.

My friends, these were, and are, the true Heroes -- HOVG Heroes -- who deserve your reverence and respect as you consider who, and who is not, remarkable in the annals of baseball history.

You're welcome.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Aaron Perlut is the chairman of The American Mustache Institute and the world's foremost expert on the sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle 

5 Days of Christmas: Aaron Perlut

You're going to be reading a ton of Christmas-related posts during this, the week leading up to the anniversary of the birth of the baby Jesus...and this site is no different.

All this week, The Hall is presenting the "Five Days of Christmas". That's right, five days straight of one of The Hall's most popular features...the "Friday 5".

Hooray!

With only a few days left to get that baseball (and mustache) lover in your life a present...why not get them a Nike Hair-itage shirt?

But which one?  Thankfully, Dr. Aaron Perlut from the American Mustache Institute broke down your five best options...and they're all priced under 20 bucks.

Andre Dawson

Randy Johnson

Eddie Murray

Willie Stargell

Reggie Jackson

So, yeah, I know what you're asking yourself..."self, why did Dr. Perlut omit reigning Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year John Axford from the list?"

According to Perlut..."Axford was too far above the rest so we just let the secondary Mustached American tees fend for themselves."

Makes sense to me.

For more great gift ideas for that mustache lover (or Mustached American) in your life...why not check out the AMI's 2011 Mustached American Holiday Gift Guide Video?

John Axford to Lose Signature 'Stache

Our friends with the American Mustache Institute constantly remind us all that, according to the Dead Sea Scrolls, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth every time a mustache is shaved.

I'm not really a "chicken or egg" kind of guy, but I have to think that if the asterisk came before the Hebrew Bible, the Scrolls would have included the following:

Each time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. *-except in the case of Movember

Now, I run you through all that to get you to this.

Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford is shaving off his signature mustache.

But, as I alluded to earlier (kinda)...it's all for a good cause.

Read!

Last day for the fu-man! Going to Movember Canada in Toronto to get it shaved to start new! Just so everyone knows...you're supposed to shave ALL facial hair to start Movember. I just couldn't because of prior engagements! Movember Canada was on board with the prior engagement...that's why I got to keep it! Now I'm going to shave it to keep with the rules!

Say what?

Yes, the same mustache that has been immortalized on t-shirts!  

And, yes, this is also the same lip sweater that helped the AxMan earn the title of "2011 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year".

But don't sweat it, kids, the American Mustache Institute isn't.

"Mr. Axford's undertaking is for charitable purposes, and we trust that the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year will fulfill his duties and continue to represent our community as he has throughout the past year," AMI chairman Dr. Aaron Perlut said.

Whew.

Looking to help?  You can make a donation to Axford's MoSpace page and help support the AXFACEKILLAS by clicking HERE!

UPDATE:  Courtesy of @MoBroJesse...below is Axford sans the fu manchu.

Canadian John Axford Wins Mustached American Award

Milwaukee Brewers pitcher John Axford accomplished plenty in the past month.

First, with 46 saves, the closer set a franchise record and topped the National League in the category.

Next, he led the Milwaukee Brewers to the National League Championship Series for the first time in 29 years.

This past Friday...he was named the 2011 Mustached American of the Year by the American Mustache Institute.

And, yeah, we endorsed him.  Kinda.

“We are honored to give this award to the Ax man,” said AMI Chairman Aaron Perlut. “Even though he is Canadian, we believe John represents everything else the Mustached American community values: humor, intelligence and good looks. He is also very tall.”

Axford, who sports a menacing Fu Manchu-style mustache, won the award with more than half of all the nearly 1,000,000 votes cast online. 

Second place went to Bob Kevioan of the nationally syndicated Bob & Tom Radio show.

“I’ve been growing this bad boy out for four or five months but I realized now that it’s not even about growing a mustache out, it’s about representing the community well,” said a humble Axford. “It’s unbelievable. To say that a Canadian if finally winning and Robert Goulet was born of French Canadian parents, it helps it become more of a North American award.”

Can someone please go update this dude's Wikipedia page to reflect this honor?

Mr. Holland's Mustache

St. Louis Cardinals general manager John Mozeliak has been called a lot of things: bright, shrewd, sharp, a hilarious jokester, and a swell square dancer.

Possibly we should add "ignorant" to that list.

Allow friend of The Hall (and chairman of the American Mustache Institute) Dr. Aaron Perlut explain.

About a year ago, I wrote that I had asked Mozeliak whether he was concerned about the lack of mustaches on the Cardinals and the impact that it's having on overall team performance.

He calmly looked at me, seated to the side of the room wearing a large afro wig, tuxedo t-shirt, and plastic red shoes...and then looked back to the rest of the audience and simply said "No."

He moved on as if it was a non-factor, a joke.

Enter Derek Holland, and his lower nose accoutrement.

In Game Four of the 2011 World Series, the Texas Rangers' Mustached American southpaw threw two-hit ball for 8 1/3 innings to beat the St. Louis Cardinals 4-0 and even things at two-all.

Holland and his luxurious lip sweater struck out seven, walked two and never was in trouble...coming within two outs of pitching the first complete-game shutout in the World Series since Jose Beckett's gem for Florida to clinch the 2003 title at Yankee Stadium.

FOX Sports analyst Tim McCarver noted during the network's coverage, "The mustache is very important."

Opposing player David Freese of the Cardinals said of the Hollandstache, "I love it. It adds some character. It might even add a little bit to that sinker."

Ironically, I received multiple text messages during the game asking me what I thought of Mr. Holland's Mustache, suggesting it was a "bad" mustache. I simply reminded them that there is no such thing as a bad mustache...just bad people who do not own, nor operate, mustaches.

Mozeliak, a scarf-wearing bare-faced mortal, fails to recognize the impact the Mustache Factor has had on his ballclub, as well as on Major League Baseball altogether.

Consider this:

FACT: Jason Giambi's career was near dead in 2007, until he grew his mouth umbrella and nearly made the all-star team.

FACT: In 2009, the Cardinals grew team mustaches and finished in first place with 91 victories and made the playoffs. In 2010, minus any team mustaches with the exception of stalwart Jason LaRue, the team won 86 games and did not qualify for postseason play.

FACT: In 2009, a densely mustached Brendan Ryan was playing all-star caliber baseball. In 2010, minus the lip cabana, his fall was embarrassing and precipitous.

FACT: In 2009, Rick Ankiel was hitting .70 higher with nasal foliage. The moment he shaved it, his batting average dropped voluminously and then he was hurt crashing into the outfield wall whereas a mouth brow would have cushioned the blow.

FACT: Prior to the 2010 season, Minnesota Twins pitcher Carl Pavano's career was virtually dead. With a furrowed upper lip, he won 17 games, which he shaved in 2011 and floundered once again.

Science, good looks nor historical data simply doesn't lie, and John Mozeliak would be well-served to become a greater student of history, as well as purchasing an afro wig, tuxedo shirt, and plastic red shoes, and to consider the Mustache Factor this offseason as he's rebuilding his club.

Talking Mustaches with John Axford

John Axford's mustache has been getting a lot of press lately...and, honestly, there is little doubt as to why.

It. Is. Awesome.

Continuing the American Mustache Institute’s award-winning interview series, AMI chairman (and great friend of The Hall) Dr. Aaron Perlut recently spoke with the guy Axford's lower nose garden is attached to...Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford.

You can find Axford on both Facebook and on Twitter when he isn't busy tearing through National League hitters.  Dude is also expected to be a top contender for the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year in 2011.

Here is that aforementioned interview.

Eric Wedge Kills Angels

Was it worth it?  Really...was it?

In the midst of a franchise worst losing streak, Seattle Mariners skipper did the unthinkable this past weekend. He decided to shed that beautiful lip sweater.

I'd like to go on...but I've got to go cry myself to sleep. Here's what the boys at Larry Brown Sports had to say:

We’ve seen players go to crazy lengths to try and break slumps, so it’s not as if this is something new. We’ve seen them wear thongs, practice voodoo and even shave their entire body in attempts to turn things around, and most of the time it works. For Wedge sadly, it didn’t.

The Mariners manager explained his decision to chop off the ‘stache, saying “Drastic measures I guess. I just wanted to get the reaction out there that I’ve been getting from everybody and hopefully lighten them up a little bit.”

Oh, and in case you were wondering how the Mariners have done since baseball's Ron Swanson shaved his 'stache...they're winless and have lost their last sixteen contests.

"This is a crime against nature that shall not be tolerated by the American Mustache Institute (AMI) nor the Mustached American community we represent," AMI's Chief Executive Officer Abraham Froman said Tuesday morning.

And if my colleagues with the AMI have taught me anything it is this..."when you shave a mustache, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth".

Angel blood is on your hands, Wedge.  The.  Blood.  Is.  On...forgot about it.

You kill angels, dude.

Bowie Baysox to Honor Mustached Americans

Much like Pamela Anderson and Hepatitis-C, since the 1970s the rich tradition of baseball and mustaches go hand-in-hand.

While the 1980s were a dark time for people of Mustached American heritage, it did not deter the Baltimore Orioles organization from strongly supporting those with lower nose accoutrements.

Lip-warming stalwarts like Eddie Murray, Rick Dempsey, Scott McGregor, Sammy Stewart and Mike Flanagan embodied a culture of acceptance in the Orioles landscape during a dark decade for the Mustached American community.

It is with this flavor-saving commitment that the Orioles Double-A affiliate, the Bowie Baysox, are collaborating with the American Mustache Institute to honor the Mustached American community on Wednesday night, May 4 at 7:00pm with the Baysox’s third annual “Mustache Mania” at Prince George’s Stadium.

The AMI’s Washington, D.C.-area Associate Steward Nathan Wilson will throw out the ceremonial first pitch, and people wearing mustaches real and fake will receive half-price admission for Lower Reserve tickets.

The offer is available on game day only at the Baysox ticket office and is valid for one half-priced Lower Reserved Seat Ticket per person donning a mustache or Mustaches For Kids (M4K) business card to the game.

The team will honor participating fans with mustache competitions including “Best Mustache” and “Most Pathetic Mustache.”

It’s a hairy deal indeed, and for more info call (301) 805-6000 or visit Baysox.com.

Carry on.

***This post is on loan from Dr. Aaron Perlut of the American Mustache Institute.***

More Mustache Talk with Collin Balester

In February, Dr. Aaron Perlut of The American Mustache Institute caught up with Washington Nationals pitcher Collin Balester and dropped what could end up being the best web series of this upcoming baseball season.

And yes...I'm talking about "MLB 'Stache Talk".

Well...here we are a month later.  Spring Training is coming to a close and Perlut again caught up with the AMI's Major League Baseball correspondent.

The two talked about Balester's chances of heading north with the team (he was optioned to Class AAA Syracuse shortly after the interview was conducted), discussed what the daily routine is while in Spring Training and even managed to plug a couple of products.

Enjoy the video. And if you're so inclined (and, frankly, you should be)...you can follow The American Mustache Institute on Twitter at @MustacheTalk and Collin Balester at @BallyStar40.

Mustache Talk with Collin Balester

Like most of you, I got some text messages this weekend.

My favorite came from Dr. Aaron Perlut of The American Mustache Institute.

While I'm not going to share our entire exchange, I'll tell you this...what he's allowing The Hall to share with you is priceless.  Suffice it to say, if this is any indication of what's to come this season from our friends at AMI...we're all in for a treat.

Here's the deal...Perlut caught up with Washington Nationals reliever Collin Balester via Skype and spent a good eight minutes talking baseball, mustaches and the hot cougars running around spring ball.

And if you're so inclined (and, frankly, you should be)...you can follow The American Mustache Institute on Twitter at @MustacheTalk and Collin Balester at @BallyStar40.

Enjoy the video.

Clay Zavada Might be Hanging it Up

The mustache ride might be over for Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Clay Zavada.

Depending on what you read...the recipient of the 2009 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award is either going to show up to camp Wednesday or contemplating retirement.

Sure, it's hard to think of a world where the owner of one of baseball's finest lip sweaters, might hang it up, but according to azcentral.com...that's exactly what might happen.

Left-hander Clay Zavada, who was invited to big-league camp after signing a minor-league deal, appears to be contemplating retirement.  Diamondbacks General Manager Kevin Towers said Zavada, who did not undergo a scheduled physical Sunday and missed Monday's workout, told the club's training staff he was "having some doubts on wanting to go through this again."

But, according to if you take what MLB.com's Steve Gilbert says as gospel...Zavada will be in camp soon.

Zavada's agent, Barry Meister, said that Zavada experienced some discomfort in his shoulder and that was the reason for his absence.  "He just needed a couple of days to figure out what was going on with his shoulder," Meister said.

Meister said that Zavada was going to see either the team's training staff or team physician Michael Lee about his shoulder Tuesday and that he had talked to manager Kirk Gibson about his situation.

Walking away from baseball wouldn't be new for Zavada.

He missed the entire 2007 season after the death of his father and was forced to sit out all of last season due to Tommy John surgery.  The Streator, Illinois native, and former 30th round draft pick, appeared in 49 games in 2009...striking out 52 batters in 51 innings.  He finished the season with a 3-3 record and a 3.35 ERA.

So...will he or won't he?

Granted, it isn't the same level of drama that surrounded New York Yankees lefty Andy Pettitte, but to Mustached Americans...Zavada is a hero.  In October 2009, he took home the afore mentioned American Mustache Institute's coveted Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award. 
 
Shortly after receiving the honor...sat down with the organization's leader, the esteemed Dr. Aaron Perlut.

The Zavstache is Back!

When Clay Zavada hit the scene in 2009, he won over the hearts of many with both his ability and that beautiful Rollie Fingers-esque mustache.

Last year, an arm injury (and subsequent Tommy John surgery) sidelined the reliever for the season.

Well, prepare to cheer again, gang...the Zavstache is back!

According to Nick Piecoro from azcentral.com...the Arizona Diamondbacks have re-signed the 26 year-old Streator (Illinois) native to a minor league deal with an invitation to spring training.

Zavada was 3-3 with a 3.35 ERA in 49 games in 2009.  Following the season, he even took home the top prize at The American Mustache Institute's annual Stache Bash.

"As a proud person of Mustached American heritage and 2009 winner of the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year," Dr. Aaron Perlut, Chairman of the Board of the American Mustache Institute said of Zavada's return to baseball, "we anticipate Mr. Zavada's transition from Tommy John surgery to be seamless and impressive, and demonstrate once again that in sports, there is no greater performance enhancer than a mustache."

 

The wonderfully follicled lefty is currently assigned to the Diamondback's AAA affiliate, the Reno Aces.

Collin Balester Raising Movember Bar

***From time to time, Dr. Aaron Perlut from the American Mustache Institute shares his wisdom.  This is one of those times.***

Despite not being a finalist for the Goulet award, In the Mustached American community, Collin Balester is a hero.

The Washington Nationals relief pitcher has withstood the pressures from agents, the Major League Baseball Player’s Union, the United Midgets Rights Union, and his seemingly mustache-friendly wife Ashley to remove his lower nose ruffage for several years.

He lost endorsement deals with Gillette and Summer’s Eve feminine hygiene products, and the Nationals went so far as to remove nearly every in-uniform mustached photo of Balester from his website.

All along, he has stood up to the negativity, tyranny, and intellectually inferior clean-shaven aristocracy of Major League Baseball.

“I’ll only pitch as well as my mustache allows me to,” Balester said. “I am my mustache, and my mustache is what I am.”

Indeed, but now Balester has joined the American Mustache Institute, of which he is the Southern California Bureau Chief (he lives in Dana Point in the offseason), in shaving clean for Movember and starting anew.

He’s now challenging other Major Leaguers to join his “Bally’s ‘Staches” Movember team and help contribute to the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG.

He asks that any citizen within earshot of a major league player who does not suffer from Bare Upper Lip Disorder or BULD, walk up to them and state the following Haiku:

Grow a ’stache for Movember;

You’ll not regret it;

Join Bally’s ‘Staches or die.

In the end, Balester hopes to parade his unvarnished lip propeller at ‘Stache Bash 2010 in St. Louis on December 4.

For more information, email AMI at info@AmericanMustacheInstitute.org or call 877-STACHE-1.

Carry on.

Clay Zavada wins “Mustached American of the Year”

Thanks in part to the endorsement of The Hall of Very Good, Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Clay Zavada took home The American Mustache Institute's coveted "Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year".

Other people finished behind the Streator, IL native Zavada, but let's be honest...it doesn't matter. Feel free to read what the AMI had to say HERE!

Clay Zavada among Goulet Award Finalists

I was going to start this one with something catchy like "do you like mustaches" but I was once taught that you never, ever open up anything with a "yes" or "no" question.

Basically, you give people the chance to respond "no" and move on. But, since the answer is always "yes"...let's continue on.

From now until October 20, The American Mustache Institute (AMI) is looking for you, yes...YOU to help name the 2009 "Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year". You can check out all the rules and other candidates over at the AMI site, or just do what I did...vote for Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Clay Zavada.

Why Clay?

It's simple...this is a baseball site and he exemplifies everything that The Hall celebrated back in May during the annual Mustache May celebration. He started his with nothing and let the follicles grow!

None of this hair one day, gone tomorrow and back the next month nonsense of the St. Louis Cardinals. Once the Streator, Illinois native put his mind to it...he didn't look back.

Also, anyone who emulates (and celebrates) friend of The Hall Rollie Fingers is a winner in my book. Now, let's make it official!

So, here's the deal. Head over to the AMI site and vote for Zavada. Then...tell your friends and repeat.

It's kinda like the old "wash, rinse, repeat" thing from the shampoo ads...but with mustaches, rookie relief pitchers and Robert Goulet looking down from heaven with an angel on each arm smiling.

Do you Goulet?

In the last two years, the sports world has done much for the Mustached American people.

Former Athletic and Yankee (and current Rockies minor leaguer) Jason Giambi was on his way to an All-Star Game appearance when he had a lower nose garden and the Arizona Diamondbacks' Eric Byrnes used the lip sweater to become relevant...for a short period.

This year, the Cardinals have emerged as pennant contenders by growing out the lip fur. Diamondbacks reliever Clay Zavada became a Major Leaguer by channeling friend of The Hall Rollie Fingers.

Which brings me to this.

The American Mustache Institute is accepting nominations for the second annual “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year”, recognizing the most impactful Mustached American of the past twelve months.

Read what Hall contributor Dr. Aaron Perlut had to say HERE.

Free MLB All-Star Tickets...who wants 'em?

If you're like me (and you're obviously not), you'll be attending the Frontier League All-Star Game next week instead of the REAL All-Star Game in St. Louis.

Good friend of The Hall, Dr. Aaron Perlut of the American Mustache Institute has come up with an innovative way of how you, yes YOU can be part of Tuesday's festivities!

Poo Holes! Poo Holes! Poo Holes!

If you are going to the 2009 Major League Baseball All-Star game next Tuesday, as well as planning on catching the HGH Fest, er...Home Run Derby the night before, you'll probably hear those chants quite often.

Indeed, Albert is arguably the best player going.

But the reality is that most of you can't afford $2,000 for a ticket, so you'll be sitting in a bar, drinking a few dozen ice cold Imbevweisers, and screaming at a television set that won't be listening to a word you are saying.

Alas, the fine men and women of the American Mustache Institute (AMI) offer hope...hope that may allow you to actually set foot in Busch Stadium DURING the game.

But first, let's pose this question: What do Pujols, Chase Utley, Hanley Ramirez, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Ryan Braun, Raul Ibanez, Yadier Molina, Joe Mauer, Mark Teixeira, Dustin Pedroia, Derek Jeter, Evan Longoria, Jason Bay, Ichiro Suzuki and Josh Hamilton all have in common?

If you said "no mustaches", you not only now have herpes through the magic of online tools, but you were right...barelipped city baby.

And you know what? There's something deeply wrong with that....the mustache part at least.

Baseball is a man's game...men with thick, rich, delicious, nutritious mustaches. Go back to Mike Schmidt, Gossage, Hojo, Fingers, Kirk Gibson, Dave Stewart, Jack Morris, the Hawk, Wade Boggs, Ozzie Guillen, the Penguin and more.

And while Bud Selig sits on his hands and let's the baseball mustache die like the Chinese Panda, AMI is bringing the 'stache back to this year's MLB All-Star classic by staging the All-Star 'Stache Dash.

What is it?

It's a digital clue hunt set for All-Star weekend that will deliver two free tickets for Tuesday's game to some lucky loser cruising the streets of St. Louis. And let's also not forget the significance of where the game is being played, as St. Louis is home to the world's largest mustache...the Gateway Arch.

So how does it all work? Very simple: sign up to follow the 2009 All-Star ‘Stache Dash on Facebook and Twitter, and as you are stumbling drunkenly through town, look for mustached baseball cards from the 1980s.

Then, when you are not cruising the web for porn, be sure to pay attention to daily updates to the Facebook and Twitter pages on your mobile phones.

Come Monday night, you could win two tickets to see the bare-faced mortals slug it out to determine home field advantage for the 2009 World Series (which is the dumbest thing ever...thank you again Mr. Selig).

Carry on.

MM09: so far...so good!

All in all, Mustache May has gone off without a hitch. We've gotten some notice and all in all...no complaints.

Last Thursday, in preparation for Mustache May, Dr. Aaron Perlut made mention of MM09 during his weekly column over at JoeSportsFan.com. He writes:

"Welcome back to The Shakedown! Friday begins "Mustache May," as our friends at the Hall of Very Good are reporting. While that did not stop the Cardinals' Rick Ankiel from killing an angel in heaven by shaving his lip garment..." Read the rest HERE.

Then, on Friday, our friends at the American Mustache Institute sent out this decree.

"Today begins Mustache May. Not 'mOUstache' May, because spelling mustache with an 'OU' is communist. But 'mUstache' May. So what is this devine holiday you might ask?"

Check out the rest HERE!

The coup de gras (so far) came on Friday night, when WGN 720 Radio DJ Nick Digilio joined in and alerted his viewers that it was officially Mustache May.

Listen to the podcast HERE!

Join in on the madness, gang. Be part of the trend that is surely going to sweep some portion of the nation. Email The Hall with 'stache of the Day suggestions, photos, contributions, etc.

Also...check out Mustache May over on Facebook and keep up to date on the time and place for the proposed "Mustache May 'stache Bash Bar Crawl".

MM09...God 'stache America!