John Axford Owned the Academy Awards

Conventional wisdom would dictate that if you spend enough time on the road as a professional baseball player, you've seen more than your share of movies.

And if you're Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford and you also happen to a self-proclaimed "Film Aficionado" (and film major in college)...you probably had an opinion on what was going to take home the top prize during Sunday night's Academy Awards ceremony.

Prior to the awards show, Axford hit the Twitters and revealed his picks for 15 of the categories.  And, suffice it to say, dude did alright.

The only pick he got wrong?  Axford went with Steven Spielberg for Best Director whereas the Oscar went to Ang Lee.  That said, it's probably good that "The Ax Man" didn't take any Best Picture advice from Jose Canseco.

Ooops.


 

John Axford to Spend All-Star Break in Pain

If you follow any Major Leaguers on Twitter, you've certainly read about how they plan on spending the All-Star break.

Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford decided to spend his in pain.

Ouch.

John Axford Makes His Music Video Debut

You're going to have to try really hard to get me to watch a video online longer than five minutes.  Even harder if it's a music video.

Sure, I try to mix in a viewing of "November Rain" (it clocks in at 9:08) every couple of weeks, but that's because I always thought that video had it all.

And then I saw "Mo'jor League" by The Reason.

This thing has everything I want in an eight-minute music video...mustaches, baseball, a dude in a monkey suit and Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford.  Now, I'm not sure what exactly the story line is in "Mo'jor League", but, shit...it's been twenty years, and I'm still not sure how Stephanie Seymour dies in "November Rain".

But I do know this.

If you put John Axford in a video (any video, really), I will watch it and, probably, post it.  Oh, and when Slash leaves your wedding to play a guitar solo outside the church...something awesome is about to go down.

You just can't trust him with your lady's wedding ring.

John Axford Supports Mustache Legislation

Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford is known for a few things.

He's tall, ruggedly handsome and despite hailing from Canada (he's currently sixth among his countrymen in career saves), he brought home the 2011 American Mustache Institute's prestigious Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award.

Oh, and like the rest of us working stiffs, the mustachioed hurler pays the U.S. Government a healthy sum in taxes.

That's why Axford is speaking out in support of the Stache Act, proposed legislation from the American Mustache Institute and a noted tax policy professor which would provide an annual $250 tax refund to people of facial hair.

The closer is asking taxpayers to demonstrate their support by ‘staching their photo at StacheAct.com, as for each participant, H&R Block will make a donation to Millions From One.

Watch the video.

Merry Christmas from John Axford

I actually think one of my favorite things about Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford isn't the award-winning mustache he cultivated throughout this past season...it's that he has a pretty good sense of humor about himself.

Can you think of another pro athlete on Twitter that would "Elf" himself and share the results to his 38,000 closest friends?

I can't.

Click through to see the entire video.

5 Days of Christmas: Aaron Perlut

You're going to be reading a ton of Christmas-related posts during this, the week leading up to the anniversary of the birth of the baby Jesus...and this site is no different.

All this week, The Hall is presenting the "Five Days of Christmas". That's right, five days straight of one of The Hall's most popular features...the "Friday 5".

Hooray!

With only a few days left to get that baseball (and mustache) lover in your life a present...why not get them a Nike Hair-itage shirt?

But which one?  Thankfully, Dr. Aaron Perlut from the American Mustache Institute broke down your five best options...and they're all priced under 20 bucks.

Andre Dawson

Randy Johnson

Eddie Murray

Willie Stargell

Reggie Jackson

So, yeah, I know what you're asking yourself..."self, why did Dr. Perlut omit reigning Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year John Axford from the list?"

According to Perlut..."Axford was too far above the rest so we just let the secondary Mustached American tees fend for themselves."

Makes sense to me.

For more great gift ideas for that mustache lover (or Mustached American) in your life...why not check out the AMI's 2011 Mustached American Holiday Gift Guide Video?

John Axford to Lose Signature 'Stache

Our friends with the American Mustache Institute constantly remind us all that, according to the Dead Sea Scrolls, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth every time a mustache is shaved.

I'm not really a "chicken or egg" kind of guy, but I have to think that if the asterisk came before the Hebrew Bible, the Scrolls would have included the following:

Each time a mustache is shaved, an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth. *-except in the case of Movember

Now, I run you through all that to get you to this.

Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford is shaving off his signature mustache.

But, as I alluded to earlier (kinda)...it's all for a good cause.

Read!

Last day for the fu-man! Going to Movember Canada in Toronto to get it shaved to start new! Just so everyone knows...you're supposed to shave ALL facial hair to start Movember. I just couldn't because of prior engagements! Movember Canada was on board with the prior engagement...that's why I got to keep it! Now I'm going to shave it to keep with the rules!

Say what?

Yes, the same mustache that has been immortalized on t-shirts!  

And, yes, this is also the same lip sweater that helped the AxMan earn the title of "2011 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year".

But don't sweat it, kids, the American Mustache Institute isn't.

"Mr. Axford's undertaking is for charitable purposes, and we trust that the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year will fulfill his duties and continue to represent our community as he has throughout the past year," AMI chairman Dr. Aaron Perlut said.

Whew.

Looking to help?  You can make a donation to Axford's MoSpace page and help support the AXFACEKILLAS by clicking HERE!

UPDATE:  Courtesy of @MoBroJesse...below is Axford sans the fu manchu.

Happy Halloween...John Axford Style!

Let's face it...people like their favorite athletes.

A lot.

If it isn't carving your pumpkin to honor Texas Rangers skipper Ron Washington...it's dressing your kid up as him.

And really...who hasn't gotten theie whole family together to sing the praises of the San Francisco Giants?

Which brings me to this.

Milwaukee Brewers pitcher John Axford is beloved by plenty.  This past weekend, the closer was even awarded the Mustached American of the Year Award with a record setting number of votes.

So why am I surprised by the number of people trying to emulate the guy?

I'm just not sure.

By here are some pictures of people who did it well.

Not so well.

Creepy.

Adorable.

Gorman Thomas.

And, of course...dog.

Oh...and there's always room for the obligatory pumpkin carving.

Happy Halloween!

Canadian John Axford Wins Mustached American Award

Milwaukee Brewers pitcher John Axford accomplished plenty in the past month.

First, with 46 saves, the closer set a franchise record and topped the National League in the category.

Next, he led the Milwaukee Brewers to the National League Championship Series for the first time in 29 years.

This past Friday...he was named the 2011 Mustached American of the Year by the American Mustache Institute.

And, yeah, we endorsed him.  Kinda.

“We are honored to give this award to the Ax man,” said AMI Chairman Aaron Perlut. “Even though he is Canadian, we believe John represents everything else the Mustached American community values: humor, intelligence and good looks. He is also very tall.”

Axford, who sports a menacing Fu Manchu-style mustache, won the award with more than half of all the nearly 1,000,000 votes cast online. 

Second place went to Bob Kevioan of the nationally syndicated Bob & Tom Radio show.

“I’ve been growing this bad boy out for four or five months but I realized now that it’s not even about growing a mustache out, it’s about representing the community well,” said a humble Axford. “It’s unbelievable. To say that a Canadian if finally winning and Robert Goulet was born of French Canadian parents, it helps it become more of a North American award.”

Can someone please go update this dude's Wikipedia page to reflect this honor?

John Axford to Attend Annual 'Stache Bash

This just in from our friends at The American Mustache Institute.

With final preparations underway for ‘Stache Bash 2011 in Chicago, presented by Miller Lite, Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford has announced that he will attend the charitable event on Friday, Oct. 28 in Chicago, hoping to win the “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year” award.

“My mustache and I are rather confident that we’ll prevail as the Goulet award winner, and I owe it to the Mustached American community to attend ‘Stache Bash in hopes of winning,” said the ruggedly rugged Axford, who will lead his own Movember team.

“I have my handsome mouth escarpment on a special diet of nuts, berries, and Canadian sausages in preparation for this epic event.”

‘Stache Bash, where the Goulet will be named, will kick off the Movember, the global moustache-growing charity campaign raising awareness and funds for cancers affecting men. In the U.S., Movember funds benefit the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG, the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

The Goulet award is not a best mustache contest but recognizes the person who best-represents or contributes to the Mustached American community over the past year. And clearly, despite being a Communist Canadian, Axford has distinguished himself in 2011.

“It would be a tremendous honor to become the first Canadian to win an American award named after another Canadian that represents the Mustached American people in the most North American manner,” added Axford.

During the 2010 baseball season, Axford burst onto the scene, mustache firmly entrenched upon his upper lip, and became an instant celebrity amongst Brewers fans and Mustached Americans alike.

In 2011, he cemented his reputation as the most mustache-driven professional athlete in major sports today, co-leading the National League in saves with 46, helping lead his team to their first division title since 1982, and had a 1.29 ERA in the playoffs.

John Axford Mustache Facts: 2011 NLDS Edition

After finishing up the regular season with a team record 46 saves, John Axford is looking to close out the Arizona Diamondbacks and move his Milwaukee Brewers one step closer to the World Series.

Throughout the season, sometime contributor Lou Olsen from Reviewing the Brew has unearthed some unknown "Mustache Facts" about the record setting closer's cookie duster.

Here are some more that you might not have known:

John Axford’s Mustache is always wearing his power suit.

John Axford’s Mustache takes his afternoon tea in the east wing.

John Axford’s Mustache recently had a baby, Derek Holland’s mustache (see here).

John Axford’s Mustache is known to many in Central America as, “Los pelos dorados de la cara de los Dioses”, (rough translation: Golden face hairs of the gods)

John Axford’s Mustache thinks that Adam West was the best Batman.

John Axford’s Mustache does not smell fear, he tastes it.

For more John Axford Mustache Facts...set aside an afternoon, hit up Reviewing the Brew and click around. 

And, if you're looking for another way to celebrate the lower nose garment of Mr. Axford, why not nominate the Brewers closer for the “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" award.

John Axford's Ax Mustache Spray

Sure it is purely by coincidence (or is it!), but given the nomination process for the American Mustache Institute's annual “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" is currently underway...the timing of this video couldn't be any better.

Here's the skinny.

John Axford has an awesome mustache...and the boys over at 12 Angry Mascots have taken noticed.

Now watch! 

Oh, and when you're done...go nominate the Milwaukee Brewers closer for the “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" award.

The Greatest Brewers Mustaches of All-Time: John Axford

Few teams celebrate facial hair like the Milwaukee Brewers.  Of course...you can celebrate whatever you want when you're running away with the National League Central.

To honor the team's acceptance of the upper lip fur, sometime contributor Lou Olsen and his band of misfits over at Reviewing the Brew are counting down the Five Greatest Brewers Mustaches of All-Time.

Number five on the list was team mascot Bernie Brewer. Number four...Hall of Famer Robin Yount.

As the feature's resident "Stache Specialist", here was my take on number three, the team's current closer...John Axford:

Simply put, the beauty of what John Axford's upper lip producing is about as awe-inspiring as what dude is doing on the field.  Not since the days of Dan Quisenberry, Dennis Eckersley and former Brewer Rollie Fingers has there been a closer as follically formidable as Axford.

Sure, many have tried...but even more have failed.  They've either shaved everything off completely, gone with the spousal compromise (the goatee) or, even worse, chosen a lifestyle of glamorizing the excessive chin tuft.

And, yes, I'm talking specifically about the Joel Hanrahans and Ryan Franklins out there.  To me, you either go glorious (a la Axford) or go full on Brian Wilson crazy...there is no in between.  No substitutes.

But what gets lost in all of the hullabaloo of Axford's "lower nose forest" is the fact that he is, basically, carrying the torch for all the Mustached (Moustached?) Canadiens out there.  And the fact that he can put up the numbers he is with all that weight on his shoulders is rather impressive.

Recently, the American Mustache Institute’s chairman (and great friend of The Hall) Dr. Aaron Perlut spoke with the guy Axford's lower nose garden finds itself attached.

Here is that interview.

Talking Mustaches with John Axford

John Axford's mustache has been getting a lot of press lately...and, honestly, there is little doubt as to why.

It. Is. Awesome.

Continuing the American Mustache Institute’s award-winning interview series, AMI chairman (and great friend of The Hall) Dr. Aaron Perlut recently spoke with the guy Axford's lower nose garden is attached to...Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford.

You can find Axford on both Facebook and on Twitter when he isn't busy tearing through National League hitters.  Dude is also expected to be a top contender for the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year in 2011.

Here is that aforementioned interview.

John Axford Jr. Mustache Facts

Just in time for Father's Day, Milwaukee Brewers closer (and Hall favorite John Axford) became a father last week.

So, naturally, one has to think that it would take the Junior Axford about a week before his mustache would be in full bloom.

That said, it's a good thing that Hall contributor Lou Olsen from Reviewing the Brew is always working and can present ten little known facts about John Axford Jr's Mustache.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache is already reading at a 4th grade level.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache has already painted a self-portrait of himself to give his Dad for Father’s Day.

John Axford Jr’s mustache has already grown out of Sesame Street, so he jumped straight to the Muppet Show and Fraggle Rock.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache blew through the beginner LEGOs while he was sitting in the hospital last week, this week he is working on his Pirates of the Caribbean LEGOs.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache is not crazy about what Gerber is passing off as turkey and split-peas these days.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache already has a stamp on his passport. (Warning: this may be an actual fact)

John Axford Jr’s Mustache is 6-1 in starring contests with the family dog, he’s a born winner.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache has begun preparing for the 2014 Winter Olympics, the Canadian Curling team needed another sweeper.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache is only days old, but still knows that “The Hangover 2″ was a terrible idea.

John Axford Jr’s Mustache hates the term ‘peach fuzz’, hair is hair no matter how soft and fine it may be!

You can read up on some of Olsen's other Mustache Facts at his site or, if you're so inclined, check out the interesting facts he unearthed about Tampa Bay Rays fan favorite Sam Fuld.

John Axford Mustache Facts

In 2004, then-Boston Red Sox outfielder Johnny Damon grew out his hair and beard and, frankly, the baseball world was stunned.

A beard and longish hair…who would dare?!?

Everyone apparently.

In the years that have followed, numerous players (such as Brian Wilson or Manny Ramirez) have allowed their personal grooming habits do the talking for them.

Suffice it to say…facial hair among Major Leaguers is back in a big way.

One guy who has embraced the lifestyle of the Mustached American is Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford. And thankfully…it appears as though the world has embraced his mustached lifestyle right back.

So much so, that, recently, the Brewers had an Axford bobblehead night…complete with his now-trademark lip sweater.

Also, a quick Facebook search reveals a number of pages dedicated to the Canadian’s womb broom.

But my favorite piece of mustache mystique comes from Lou Olsen…proprietor of the site Reviewing the Brew. Olsen has put together a massive list of “John Axford Mustache Facts”.

And they are fantastic.

Here’s a sample of some of the most recent discoveries:

John Axford’s Mustache always buys one and gets one free…always

John Axford’s Mustache gets stuck to food, not the other way around

John Axford’s Mustache is an avid karaoke singer

John Axford’s Mustache is a Navy SEAL on the weekends and his whereabouts on Sunday are still unknown.

You can check out the rest of the facts surrounding the legend of Axford’s ‘stache HERE.

John Axford Needs Your Help

Last month, Washington Nationals reliever Collin Balester hit the Twittersphere to let everyone know he had chosen his entrance music.

"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'N Roses.

Now, Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford wants you to choose his...and he's made it simple enough by posting the link to a poll featuring 15 songs titles over at his Facebook page.

Currently, the theme from "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" by Ennio Morricone is leading "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine and "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica.

I'm not sure who is voting...but I know where my vote went.

Metallica.

So what say you, fans...what should the mustachioed Axford enter Miller Park to this summer?  Go vote!