Must See Harry Caray "Impression"

What's with people doing Harry Caray impressions?

Seriously, it seems like anyone with oversized black glasses thinks they have an open invitation to try and sound like the legendary Chicago Cubs broadcaster.  And, mostly, they come across as hackneyed copies of the impersonation Will Ferrell made popular years ago.

Yeah...looking your way Derek Holland and Ryan Dempster.

So, when I saw that Chicago Blackhawks national anthem singer Jim Cornelison donned the unironic thick black glasses for a "Toast for Harry" event this past Thusday...I cringed.

Then, well, then I watched the video below.

Now, if I can make a suggestion.  Is there any way the Cubs can get Cornelison to take up permanent residence at Wrigley Field now that the team has officially uninvited some of their D-list regulars?

Cubs Ban (Some) Celebs from Booth

Last season, the Chicago Cubs decided to add a new scoreboard (gasp!) and this year, well...they're continuing with the changes.

The team announced Wednesday that the singing of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" will no longer be the hodge podge of random celebrities it has turned into. 

"I think the last couple of years we had gotten away to a couple of people who weren't tied to Chicago," said Jim Oboikowitch, the Cubs in-game programming director.

The new plan calls for local Chicago celebrities and former Cubs players to sing the song onetime broadcaster Harry Caray made famous.  Essentially, they're going to try and create more of a "who's who" rather than a "who's that" mentality when it comes to lending the microphone to visitors.

"They're always exciting for people to see," Oboikowitch added, "to have them back and relive some of the glory."

That said, former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka might not be the answer.

Theo Epstein Shows Off His Bunting Skills

When Dale Sveum took the reigns of the Chicago Cubs prior to last season, he unveiled a fun little bunting contest to loosen up Spring Training.

And since Sveum is back for season two...so is the bunting contest!

On Saturday, for some reason, the front office staff took part in the contest in an effort to round out the field of 64 contestants.  64 you ask?  Yes, according to ESPN Chicago's Jesse Rogers the breakdown consists of 62 players (including last season's champion David DeJesus), a bullpen coach and the yet-to-be named 64th participant.

Alright, you know darn well this thing wouldn't get any mention whatsoever if it was full of random office employees.  Yeah, you guessed it...team president Theo Epstein took part in the contest, beating general manager Jed Hoyer in the first round.


But, alas, Epstein's success was short lived.  He lost to his 25-year-old wunderkind director of baseball operations Scott Harris who, in turn, lost to assistant video coordinator Nate Halm.


"Nate might get an invite to camp on a minor league contract," Epstein joked with the Chicago Tribune.  "That was impressive."

Feel free to click the picture below to see Epstein flaunt his bunting prowess.

Wrigley Field Sells Out in Record Time

The Chicago Cubs have yet to set foot on the field at HoHoKam Park and already, they've got a sell out on their hands.

Sort of.

Saturday, tickets went on sale for Pearl Jam's July 19 show at Wrigley Field and not long after, well...there was this.

Not too shabby for a show that was only announced, officially, a little over two weeks ago.

Oh, and if anyone has a ticket to spare...I'll gladly take it off your hands.  I even promise to not vomit during "All the Way", which, you've gotta think, will be played.

Wild Coyotes Spotted Outside Wrigley Field

If vultures circling above you is a sign that you're doomed...what does it mean for the Chicago Cubs when coyotes actually hang out outside Wrigley Field?

Late Saturday night, photographer Will Byington was in Wrigleyville and noticed the two wild dogs roaming outside "The Friendly Confines".

"The scary thing is that they didn't seem afraid. You'd think they'd be cowering, but they didn't seem vicious," Byington told Chicago's NBC 5.  "You hear stories about them venturing out and spotted around parks and whatnot, but they were right in the street with cars zooming by and honking. It didn't seem to phase (sic) them."

I'll let you come up with the "Party Animal" jokes yourself.

(h/t @willbyington via @kevinkaduk) 

Adam Greenberg Wants One At Bat

All former big league outfielder Adam Greenberg wants is one more big league at bat.

That's all...just one.

You remember Greenberg, right?  Sure you do.  He's the cat who, in July 2005, was called up by the Chicago Cubs and, in his first (and only) at plate appearance, was hit by a Valerio de los Santos fastball.

Yeah, that's it.  One pitch and his Major League career was over. 

Matter of fact, Greenberg is one of only two players (Fred Van Dusen was the other in 1955 for the Philadelphia Phillies), to be hit by a pitch in their only big league plate appearance without ever taking the field.  And sure, like Van Dusen, that one plate appearance against the Florida Marlins July 9, 2005 is more than any of us would ever get, but Greenberg's not satisfied...dude still wants one more.

That's where Matt Liston comes in.

The filmmaker (and rabid Cubs fan) has launched "One At Bat"...and it's goal is simple.

I had a chance to catch up with Greenberg and, well, talk about that one plate appearance and, hopefully, that one at bat.

HOVG:  True baseball fans seem to know your story...you've even been called "this generation's Moonlight Graham". In a nutshell, can you break down that fateful July 2005 at bat?

GREENBERG:  The at bat in 2005 was the high and low point of my life. Just as my career was ready to get underway, it came to a screeching halt. I had the opportunity of a lifetime. I made it to the Major Leagues with the Chicago Cubs at 24 years old. Regardless of how it turned out, it was still the single greatest moment in my life!

HOVG:  I know while with the Bridgeport Bluefish in 2011, you faced Valerio de los Santos (then with the Long Island Ducks) and got a hit.  Had there been any contact between the two of you in the years prior? Did he or anyone from the Marlins organization ever reach out to you?

GREENBERG:  I had not spoken to or heard from Valerio, or anyone in the Marlins organization until that at bat.

HOVG:  Obviously, your name is back in the headlines thanks to Matt Liston's "One At Bat" campaign. How did that all come about?

GREENBERG:  Matt reached out to me prior to spring training this past year. He gave me some of his background and let me know what he wanted to do to help get me back to the big leagues. I gave him my blessing to, in essence, act as my agent to try and get me back with an organization to give me a chance to play my way back to the big leaguers. This campaign has taken on a life of its own and it has been amazing.

HOVG:   Have you heard anything from any teams since the video started going viral?

GREENBERG:  Matt keeps the correspondence between himself and the teams. I try and not get involved in who he is talking to...that makes it more fun and keeps me focused on the things I can control!

HOVG:  Let's say this all works out for you. I mean, crazier things have happened, right? Where, ideally, would you like to land?

GREENBERG:  Back on a big league diamond is where I want it to be. Any team that gives me that shot is the team I want to proudly represent. This isn't a charity case, I'm trying to prove that I can help a Major League club win games.

You can keep up with Adam Greenberg's via Twitter at @adamgreenberg5 or follow his pursuit of that one at bat over at One At Bat or through his company Lurong Living.

Naturally, Theo's Stalker is a Red Sox Fan

Last week, news broke that Chicago Cubs president (and former Boston Red Sox GM) Theo Epstein has a stalker.

And because it's been that kind of year for the Sox, when Kathleen Kearney appeared in court Monday, she was wearing, up...a Red Sox shirt.

In case you're curious, there are some new developments in the story. 

According to the Chicago Tribune, this most recent incident with Epstein and his family wasn't the first.  The 44-year-old Harvard-educated former librarian had been warned to stay away from Epstein while he was still in Boston.

Oh, and in case you're still more curious(er), Kearney was released on bond with the understanding she checks herself in to a mental hospital.

***Thanks Deadspin.***

Cubs Pay Tribute to Ron Santo

As Vicki Santo was standing in front of thousands in Cooperstown Sunday, her late husband Ron was being honored at the place he called home for close to five decades.

Sure, I'm not a Chicago Cubs fan, but I've gotta say...I was quite impressed when I saw that the team paid tribute to the newly minted Hall of Famer as best they could. 

By mimicking his famous 1969 heel click as they took the field.

Larkin and Santo Inducted into the Hall of Fame

“This is unbelievable. UN-STINKING-BELIEVABLE!” - Barry Larkin

In front of 44 Hall of Famers and a virtual sea of Cincinnati Reds and Chicago Cubs fans, Barry Larkin headlined the 2012 Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

But...it almost didn't happen.

You see, when Larkin accepted a scholarship to the University of Michigan, it was football (not baseball) that he fancied.

"(Then-Michigan head coach Bo Schembechler) redshirted me my freshman year and told me that he was going to allow me just to play baseball," Larkin told the crowd at The Clark Sports Center. "Occasionally, I'd call him while I was playing in the big leagues and told him that was the best decision he made as a football coach. He didn't like that too much."

Larkin, a native of Cincinnati, played his entire career with the Reds and put together a .295 career average, 2340 hits, 1329 runs scored, 198 home runs, 960 RBI and 379 stolen bases.  In 1995, Larkin was named the National League MVP.  A year later, he became the first shortstop to join the 30-30 club with 33 home runs and 36 stolen bases.

The 12-time All-Star retired in 2004 after 19 seasons. 

Joining Larkin on the stage Sunday was Vicki Santo...widow of the newly inducted Ron Santo.

"It just feels right, a perfect ending to a remarkable journey," Vicki Santo said. "Ron left an awful hole for many of us today. This is not a sad day. This is a great day. I'm certain that Ronnie is celebrating right now."

Santo was a member of the Chicago Cubs organization for the better part of five decades as a player (1960-74) and then beloved broadcaster (1990-2010).  He was was selected by the Veterans Committee this past December...exactly one year after his death.

The former third baseman compiled a .277 batting average, 2254 hits and 1331 RBI during his 15-year big league career.

Some other news of note from Hall of Fame weekend courtesy of Bruce Markusen from The Hadball Times.

• According to reliable sources, actor Charlie Sheen was among those attending the induction ceremony. Sheen is good friends with Barry Larkin.
• Tom Seaver, normally a fixture at Hall of Fame Weekend, did not attend this year’s event. He has a painful hip condition that makes it difficult for him to fly.
• As expected, Pete Rose filmed a segment on Friday for his new reality show at T.J’s Place on Main Street. A film crew taped Rose having breakfast with his fiancee, Kiana Kim, and two Cooperstown locals, restaurant owner Ted Hargrove and memorabilia dealer Andrew Vilacky.

Oh, and in case you missed it, there was another "induction" of note this past week.  On Friday, pitching legend (and medical marvel) Tommy John became the inaugural member of The Hall of Very Good™.

Theo Epstein Has a Stalker Now

When the Chicago Cubs brought in Theo Epstein, the feeling around the Windy City was that a rockstar was coming to town and bringing change with him.

And while the Cubs current record might not indicate a departure from the norm...Epstein can indeed be called a "rockstar".

According to the Chicago Tribune...dude has a stalker.

A Massachusetts woman warned to stay away from Chicago Cubs president Theo Epstein was arrested near his Lakeview home this week after telling police she was "inviting Mr. Epstein to go to church."

Kathleen Kearney, 44, was arrested about 6 p.m. Monday in the 1400 block of West Addison Street, about two blocks from Epstein's five-bedroom home.

Kearney told officers she had been watching the home that Epstein shares with his wife Marie and young son, Jack, and was going there to extend the invitation, police said.

I'm not going to make jokes about stalkers, but I will say this, if Kearney's mugshot below is any indication, I'm not sure why the Cubs boss won't take her up on her offer.

FOR SALE: Cubs Bong, er, "Water Pipe"

It never ceases to amaze me what people will try and sell on Craigslist.

Out of complete boredom, I was looking on the website to see how much people were selling their tickets for the upcoming series between the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox.

And found this.

Pristine 16" glass water pipe (aka Bong) with cavity, slider and ice chamber.

This is a "like new" water pipe with minimal usage, no scratches and in a pristine (CLEANED) condidtion. I am asking for $150 (which is significantly lower than paid for) or best offer. Please contact the number below for more information.

773-510-5664

I know nothing about bongs, so, honestly, I'm not even sure if this is a good deal, decent craftmanship or whatever...but is it?

Let me ask you this...how important is it to show your team allegiance when getting high?  Was it something Cubs catcher Geovany Soto advertised when he was getting stoned at the 2009 World Baseball Classic?

And if you were selling your used (albeit "cleaned") bong on Craigslist...should you really be posting your phone number? 

So.  Many.  Questions.

Oh, and in case you were wondering...I never did find an acceptable price to see the BoSox invade Wrigley and beat the Northsiders.

"Kid K" Goes Out in Style

I've done my share of blasting the Chicago Cubs over the years.  Some of it was warranted...plenty of it wasn't.

But how they handled Kerry Wood's sudden retirement Friday was pure class.  They let him face one more batter.

And in front of 35,000 cheering Chicagoans, the big righty exited the same way he began...striking out the batter.  On April 12, 1998...it was Mark Grudzielanek.  On Friday, it was Dayan Viciedo.

In 14 big league seasons, Wood went 86-75 with a 3.67 ERA.  But it was with strikeouts that "Kid K" earned his moniker...dude fanned an astounding 10.3 per nine innings.  That places him second all-time behind Randy Johnson's 10.6.

Not.  Too.  Shabby.

Kerry Wood Calls it Quits

According to ESPNChicago.com, Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood called it quits Friday.

Sure, it's not Earth shattering news, but when a veteran ballplayer just up and quits...it's worth mentioning.

The big righty hit the scene in 1998 with all the promise in the world.  In just his fifth start, "Kid K" matched Rogers Clemens' record of 20 strikeouts in a game.  He'd wind up making two All-Star game appearances with the Northsiders.

A lot of time has passed between then and now, however.

The 34-year-old has struggled out of the Cubs bullpen this season, giving up eight runs and walking 11 in just over eight innings of work.

"It's one of those things," Cubs manager Dale Sveum said of the reliever. "The ball is coming out of his hand well, but (he issues) four-pitch walks right away."

So, what's next?  Could a move to the broadcast booth be in the flamethrower's future?

When Wood re-joined the Cubs prior to the 2011 campaign, rumors swirled that the deal included a job with the organization upon retirement.  Initially, it was reported that team chairman Tom Ricketts had promised Wood the gig.

But, soon after, Wood himself squashed the idea.

"That is completely untrue," the pitcher told the Chicago Tribune. "I have no interest in broadcasting when my playing days are over. That has never been something that I saw myself doing."

My guess, dude walks away.  Quietly.  His record during his tenure with the Cubs was pretty decent, so, yeah...he's probably got a trip to the broadcast booth in his future.  But, something tells me he'll be singing...not delivering commentary.

CM Punk Invades Wrigley Field

Say what you want about the Chicago Cubs (and God knows I've said my fair share), but inviting people up to the pressbox to sing out "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" is one of baseball's best traditions.

With or without a holographic Harry Caray.

Seriously though, how awesome is this picture of WWE Champ, Chicago native (and Steve Bartman hater) CM Punk doing the duties Tuesday night?

CM Punk Set to Sing at Wrigley Field

Since 1998, an interesting cast of characters have been invited to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning streth at Wrigley Field.

When the Chicago Cubs take on the Atlanta Braves May 8...professional wrestler CM Punk will join the long, distinguished list.

This isn't the current WWE champ's first time as part of the sideshow at "The Friendly Confines"...last July, the Chicago native was on the field and threw out the ceremonial first pitch.

More like "take me out to the BRAWLgame"...am I right?

How About a Holographic Harry Caray?

Now that the Tupac Shakur hologram has officially taken the world by storm...is it time to wonder who/what should be the next hologram to perform "live"?

I think so.

And, apparently, so does CBSSports.com blogger C. Trent Rosecrans.

Since Caray's death (which was actually about a year-and-a-half after Tupac died), the Cubs have had guest singers...it was cute for a while, especially early on when they got big names to do the singing, but now it's just old and sometimes sad.

Instead of just a sing-along with the organ or a recording, let's go with holographic Harry. Tupac cost somewhere between $100,000 and $400,000, and that's just pocket change compared to what the Cubs are paying Alfonso Soriano -- and less of a defensive liability to boot.

Now, I had never thought of bringing Harry Caray back, but if I did, I guess I would have proposed something akin to the Rock-a-Fire Explosion.

But since it was brought up, I decided to reach out to friend of The Hall (and grandson of the Chicago Cubs broadcasting legend) Josh Caray to see what he had to say.

"It would be a great way for a new generation of Cubs fans to know who my grandfather was," the younger Caray told me.

And maybe Josh is right.  Frankly...anything is better than this.

Jake Peavy: Party Animal

After a couple of lackluster years with the Chicago White Sox, Jake Peavy is getting back to normal...by partying with normal folks.

You see, back when the pitcher was tearing up the National League, the former San Diego Padres pitcher was known to be quite the party animal as well (see here and here).  And if the pictures over at Deadspin are any indication...he's back, baby!

So, um, I guess that's refreshing.

Sunday night, the righty was spotted out at the Houndstooth Saloon near Wrigley Field.  And, yeah, I'm not sure what's worse...playing for the Sox and getting snapped in Wrigleyville or posing with a half naked dude.

My guess is that the Kangaroo Court will make a ruling.

Bernie Brewer Hates the Cubs

Say what you want, but tattoos are getting better.

Real, fake or even this one...baseball fans are becoming walking, talking billboards for their favorite teams and players. Now I know I've said it before, but I think I've stumbled upon my newest favorite.

And before you ask, yes...that's Milwaukee Brewers mascot Bernie Brewer with an assault rifle doing a crotch grab over a bullet-filled Chicago Cub.

Awesome.

***Props to @JucheMane***

Cubs Fans Sure Are Optimistic

I know, I know.  It could be summed up thusly...what would you expect from a throng of fans that root for a team they affectionately call "Loveable Losers"?

But, c'mon, Chicago.  There isn't one Cubs fan among you that doesn't believe your team will make the playoffs? 

Did you miss the memo that said things are going to change by bringing in Theo Epstein?  How about the one that detailed the expansion of the MLB postseason?

Oh, and if you're looking for a change of attitude on how the Cubs are going to fare this season...kindly avoid Twitter.

***Props to both Matt Sebek and Kevin Kaduk for tweeting this.***

The Chicago Cubs Want You!

I'm not sure if this is cool or pathetic, but the Chicago Cubs have taken to CareerBuilder.com to find applicants to fill their vacant Ball Boy/Girl positions.

Per the posting:

Want to work beside the greatest players and coaches in Major League Baseball today? The Chicago Cubs and CareerBuilder are searching for four Wrigley Field Ball Boys & Girls! This paid, seasonal position requires you to work 65 Cubs home games this year and have the time of your life! Submit your application and video telling us why you're the best person for the job!

"These exciting positions serve an important role throughout the baseball season and offer a great opportunity to have one of the best summer jobs in Chicago," the team's executive vice president and chief sales and marketing officer Wally Hayward told NBC Chicago.

Last year, you might remember, the team used the employment website to find a new public address announcer.

Normally, this would be the time to make some hackneyed Steve Bartman reference or suggest that the "Lovable Losers" are auditioning civilians to take Alfonso Soriano's roster spot...but I'll leave those up to you.

I've got a resume to update!